Four and a half years have passed since that terrible day when the FBI called. I still wonder, almost every day, why I didn't figure it out sooner. What signs did I miss? Why was I so ignorant about the gathering dangers, poised to take down an elderly woman with a fair amount of money and impaired judgment? Could I have stopped her victimization before she lost so much?
Sure, I was worried about her. She was easily confused. The refrigerator always contained spoiled food and had sweepstakes notifications stuck to the outside. Huge stacks of unread magazines lined the family room and hallway, sometimes 3 or 4 copies of the same magazine, all ordered through channels with sweepstakes.
She had fired her financial adviser in early October of 2002 (likely under the urging of her Canadian lottery callers), liquidated all of her assets, and announced that she would handle her own investments henceforth. She explained that her mutual fund losses were responsible for the huge decline in the size of her portfolio. Horrified and suspicious, I talked her into finding another financial advisor. She did so, and I relaxed a little (a little too much apparently).
On the other hand, she lived alone, had some close friends, paid her bills (as far as I knew), shopped, cooked, and even served as treasurer for her ladies' club. Between us, my sister and I visited and spoke with Lola often. She was starting to have some memory problems, enough to make us uneasy, but not enough to trigger decisive action on our part.
Diagnosis: Early (mild) Alzheimer's and Vascular Dementia
Along with the emergency court order granting me guardianship in January 2004, the judge also ordered medical evaluation of Lola's mental condition since Lola refused to do this voluntarily.
Exams by a neuropsychologist and a psychiatrist found that Lola had both early Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. Even so, she did well enough on the mini mental exam to meet state criteria for "being of sound mind" for the purpose of making out a will. Everyone who knew her (immediate family excepted) was shocked at the diagnosis. Lola was masterly at hiding her deficits and activities from those around her (except for banking employees and con artists).
It was now clear to me that judgment and the ability to reason were the first skills to go, in Lola's sad decline. The stereotype of the dotty old lady who can't recall what she had for breakfast as emblematic of dementia does not hold up for many seniors. I now knew that a person could appear outwardly to be competent, yet have not a shred of rationality left.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
1 comment:
After my father was bilked by his own step son, i found out 3 or 4 years later. Since then, i have been super vigilant with my mother, but she's like your mother she is shrewd and continues to play bridge, but makes odd little errors when talking with me. My step father (her husband) dumped a lot of money into a fund that while not illegal, was plain stupid. At least neither of them appear to be interested in publisher's clearing house. thanks for writing this blog.
Post a Comment