Monday, December 31, 2007

Rainy December Nights

Every single time I went out, it was the same. A cold rain was falling. Lane markings were obscured by a reflective layer of water disturbed by rain drops and splashes. The water shifted uneasily in colorful waves thrown at it by building lights, neon signs, passing cars, and traffic lights. The rhythmic sweep of the windshield wipers muffled the sound of the spray.

I parked the car and headed for the hospital doors barely protected by my flimsy hooded raincoat, stepping gingerly around the pooling water. Two unused umbrellas rested in the car.

When I wasn’t in Mother’s room, I was sitting in the massive third floor lobby. It curved outwards from the patient areas and faced the four stories tall windowed atrium. At night, the panoramic view of the commercial area north and east of the hospital repeated itself wavily in the rain drenched parking lots and nearby roads.

Mother saw rivers of green dots on the metal surfaces of the ER and swarms of red and brown spots on the walls of her room. Who’s to say what I saw was real and what she saw wasn’t?

Mother moved to the psychiatric unit of the old hospital and the landscape was much the same. The surfaces were smaller and the puddles were bigger with more subdued residential lights reflecting off the unmarked parking lot.

Today, in the locked down “C” hall (dementia unit) of the nursing home, two confused patients followed me and Mother down the hall to her room. Distracted after a while, they continued their pacing while Mother and I sat on the bed. She is telling me that she has another room on the same side of the hall and three more on the other side.

Tonight is the last night of December, 2007. At least it stopped raining.

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